In Repair

What more can I say?
What more could I do?
I ran out of hours,
Waiting in the dark for you.
Oh, the flesh was willing,
But it's never had a clue.
We were headed for trouble,
I knew this to be true.
Thank you for tonight,
And the love we almost made.
You fell asleep after saying,
You were happy I had stayed.
I was a pilgrim for your love,
And you're not the temple for me?
I'm in the middle of your street,
And the rain's falling so unkindly.
I'm snarling back at all the dogs
I'm watching the cars drive by.
I'm a mountain to my friends,
But I feel like ash on the inside.
I became everything you wanted,
I was better, I really was ready.
Now I'm not sure I'm fit to drive,
I can barely blink steady.
Too much smoke in my lungs,
Too many shadows in my mind.
Too many hours left in the night,
Too much love to just put behind.
Found all the right words to say,
Only I said them far too late.
I'll try to leave all my furniture intact.
I'll be strong enough not to hate.


You came over to tell me,
To try and make me understand.
But I knew before you even spoke.
In the way you took my hand.
Then you cupped my still dry cheeks,
And promised you didn't blame me.
Oh I tried to find the right words,
But what I said did nothing but shame me.
I tried to stop speaking and make some tea.
But I just kept saying I was sorry.
I thought if I stirred this cup just right,
You'd remember the love you have for me.
You made me promise not to hurt myself,
I laughed until I hurt everywhere.
I should be so much better,
But I'm in repair. I'm getting there.
I saw the sun shine finally,
After days of torrential rain.
And my sister made me smile today,
Told me she loved me, then told me again.
They're dancing like devils before their idols,
All the hooligans in the street.
And you're telling me to keep the faith.
That's there's a plan, stay upbeat.
I know it's all true. I'll get better,
Get it together, get my heart repaired.
But for now I'm feeling broken,
As broken as I'm about to make this chair.
I'll be building castles in no time,
Dancing like the dervishes do.
I shall say "I am happy".
And soon I will be, too.

But tonight...