Addiction

It's all much too much,
For me tonight.
Wicked games we play,
No end no respite.
We hurt each other,
Between smiles.
We hold each other now.
While sharpening
Our many knives.
It's all a game,
And I'm all in,
Even though I know
I cannot win.
I left my pride
At the door.
And my heart scattered
Across your floor.
I felt the pain
My friend held back
As he hugged me,
And asked me,
How you holding up?
I saw you look at me
Out of the corner,
Of your eye.
And I couldn't
Do the smart thing,
And look away.
I feel like a fool.
And this isn't,
What you want to hear.
You who've listened
Far too much.
I'm sorry.
Tomorrow I shall return
To a comfortable light.
But it's much too much
For me tonight.
I need to beat this,
This strange addiction.
To brush against you,
For that familiar friction.
You are mine,
I was yours,
Why did we fuck around?
You are the only one.
You were the only one.
And I know that
I really shouldn't stay.
But no matter how
Many times I say it,
I can't seem
To walk away.