I got lost again,
With no one looking
To find me.
I yelled and turned away
Still hoping you'd remain
Behind me.
This night was made for
Loneliness and cigarettes
Slowly rolled.
Coffee strong enough
To remind me
I'm not good enough.
Not even close.
The wind went away
Without speaking to me.
The night sits outside,
A stalker who won't leave.
I've got a roomfull of regret,
And an ashtray full of dreams.
Every word I manage to write
Hurts me more than it seems.
Why am I never more
Than the angry things
I say to you?
The words I never said,
The things I couldn't do, I
Rolled into those cigarettes
And set on fire.
Puff puff puffed away the
Unbearable mystery
Of being me.
Tonight I am a friend
To no one.
Not even myself.
All this trying
Has made me tired.
Now I don't even want
To write.
I try to understand
Why I leap,
Just to remind myself
I don't know how to fly.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Don't mean to judge, but you seem like an INFP, or maybe an ENFP, just saying.
ReplyDeleteTrying is what the journey is about. It's easy to give up and drown ourselves in a pathetic state of self-pity.
When we pick the tougher route though, i.e. putting in every bit of ourselves into chiseling nothingness into the stuff of our dreams, we grow jaws, minds and shoulders of steel in the process, which helps us endure everything that pricks, pierces, and burns us on our journey. So hang in there! You're heading in a good direction.
Hmm... if this is related to your life then please try and think of the good things that life has offered rather than more of the regrets... that is the only way to survive...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteEverytime u feel like picking up a cigarette, pick up your pen instead, and express your feelings...because you do that so well. Everytime you feel the urge to smoke, think of your loved ones, who care for you, and would want the best of health and happiness for you.
ReplyDeleteWe are all born alone, and will go alone. Yet we all have God--the truest friend ever. All will be well, don't worry. May He bless you always.