Nice and Sleazy

Ladies and Gentlemen allow me to present to you the most entertaining professional site I've ever had the sleazy honor of being scouted by. This is the bio of a supposedly legitimate modelling agency that has sent me an email looking to see if I need representation. When I checked them out, this is what I saw.

It might seem long and tedious but trust me, it is worth the read. I have cut and copied word, no editorializing and no corrections. This guy really took the time to right this. Nuff said.

Enjoy ----




Hey All 'SINCERELY SERIOUS' Models ! BEFORE ADDING,READ BELOW:

FOR 'MALE' MODELLING,POSING IN SWIMSUITS & INNERWEARS R MANDATE ; so if u r nt comfortable,plz try b a Doctor/Engineer elswhr or else mail ur THT PICS ONLY FIRST (FOLIO/RANDOM SHOTS by snapping 4m ur cameracell/digicam) B4 THIS WEEK to the Mail ID fshnfiesta@gmail.com OR DELETE US 4M UR LIST as v need VERSATILE MODELS nt hving prejudices n tantrums.

V R LOOKING FOR FRESH AND POLITE HUNKY FACES FOR LINED UP PROJECTS ....MODELS WHO R PASSIONATE BOUT WORK & MODELLING WIDOUT SHYING CN ADD.BUT NO RANDOM REQUESTS PLZ.NO HYPOCRISIES & LIERS WIL B ENTERTAINED AS V CN CATCH THT QUITE EASILY.MODELS SHWING TANTRUMS,NEGATIVE ATTITUDE & ALWAYS CRIBBING FOR MONEY LYK BEGGARS R NOT OUR CUP OF TEA.& SHUD RESPECT PUNCTALITY,PROFESSIONALISM AND SHUD KNW 2 KEEP WORDS & NO ILLITERATES PLZ ..CZ WEN V WANTED SWIMSUIT PICS,THEY R SENDING SHERWANI PICS,DONNO THEIR QUALIFICATION OR THEY MAKE OUT ENGLISH OR NOT.HW CN THEY DREAM 2 B A MODEL ? FEW SHIES 2 POSE IN INNERS WEN THEY CNT WRITE AN ENGLISH NOVEL WITHOUT KNWING A,B,C,D...BOLD MODELS NEEDED FOR LINED UP PROJECTS.

Now-a days juries have becum choosy nw and they accept folios bt first they need 2 judge the fitness n casual snapshots in underwears of male models as they need 2 c , in real life in un-makeup raw looks,hw actually they look n comfortable n bold ...cz portfolio mein sabhi khoobsoorat dikhte hai..as sum photoshops r involved ...so dnt shy n send by snapping more n more ( 10-15 ) ONLY V-Cut INNERWEAR PICS in different poses n locations in ur room frm digicam or Cellcamera
Hey All 'SINCERELY SERIOUS' Models ! BEFORE ADDING,READ BELOW:

FOR 'MALE' MODELLING,POSING IN SWIMSUITS & INNERWEARS R MANDATE ; so if u r nt comfortable,plz try b a Doctor/Engineer elswhr or else mail ur THT PICS ONLY FIRST (FOLIO/RANDOM SHOTS by snapping 4m ur cameracell/digicam) B4 THIS WEEK to the Mail ID fshnfiesta@gmail.com OR DELETE US 4M UR LIST as v need VERSATILE MODELS nt hving prejudices n tantrums.

click frm ur cameracell
random shots
n mail
sweated body is MUST
dnt wax
b as hairy as u cn
armpits n all
n pose in various locations
armpits behind d neck
n all
male models who can't expose and shy like burkha-bride is nt needed in industry...u hv 2 expose n feel comfrtable in swuimwears ..and its a mandate or compulsory 2 take pix wearing only underwears ..so if u cn,mail me those nw so tht v cud check the versatility n boldness or else please delete us frm ur profile....this is wat juries n clients say 2 us....m sorry as v hd 2 put it across forwrd.

MAIL 2 fshnfiesta@gmail.com & in YAHOO CHAT on fashionista10@ymail.com for ONLINE WEBCAM AUDITIONS & GROOMING
& also add us on ORKUT in the ID splitzvilla2010@gmail.com ( under the name FASHION FIESTA )
...THINK TWICE,ACT WISE !! BEST OF LUCK !!! Waiting fr ur mails !!


SOME IMPORTANT TIPS WHILE INTERACTING WITH ANY AGENCIES :
======================================================================

i) If anyone says a HI , then revert back to them ASAP as a Hi,Hello,Hw r u , etc ... but NOT like "Wassup" or " Hey ! Who's dis ?"
[ It sounds very rude,snobbish,attitudish,unprofessional and casual]

ii) NEVER call or denote them by the following colloquial casual dialects like DUDE,BUDDY,YAAR,BRO,DEAR,etc. but showing utter respect as SIR / MAM.
[ It sounds very rude,snobbish,attitudish,unprofessional and casual ]

iii) Agencies checks how the models could comprehend their demands or requirements,they should be LITERATE in English & should reply to the point but not bluntly.
For E.G. : If any agency asks for your swuimsuit pics or Bodyshots,make sure you mail them ONLY those , not a mail in which all your pictures are there,like ethnic,casual,Bodyshots,Swuimshots,Formals,etc.As the juries might think that you dnt understand BASIC ENGLISH ,and you have given the juries to figure out the reqd pics from your folios.Always remembr,they have to check innumerable folios daily,so they dnt hv tht much time 2 go thru and choose the demanded pics.So,even if you are highly qualified person,but for your lack of comprehending and shortcuts,you might be landing in their black/bad books as an ILLITERATE model.Because they need not only muscular but WITTY models.Because its you who need to prove the famous proverb wrong tht MUSCULAR MEN HAVE CIRCULAR HEADS.SO,simultaneously increase your wits and brains along wid ur pectorals,abs,chest,torso,Lats and arms.

iv) Never use any morally derogatory or discrimnatory terms or words or any abusive slangs or foul-mouthing 2 anyone,even if anyone is doing fr u.Because,no agency or fashion magnets or anyone frm the film or fashion fraternity will like 2 work wid such models.They sumtimes might run a SCAN or look your profile in FB or Orkut to c hw u describe urself or hw u interact wid ur frndz.And through their tenurity,they cn easily make out a psychic character report about ur behavorial conducts.

v) NEVER malign the reputation or even dnt try 2 jeopardise any of ur ex-company's shoot or meeting experience to the new company ... as they might think,tht if u dnt get selected from them,u might also blacklist their company too , to others.Thats a STRICT NO-NO.Always say good and sugary sweet words for your ex company or any people ( even if u dnt like them ).

vi) CONTROLLING TEMPTATION IS A KEY TO SUCCESS :
Being a guy/girl,its completely natural 2 get attracted by women/men respectively.But,usages of lies while chatting wid agencies tht " i hv 2 go nw fr dinner" and apparently going offline and then chatting with girlfrndz or others are a STRICT NO-NO.Because,if u dnt hv fame,models and ur career is gone.So,first PARENTS,then CAREER and then auxilliaries like partners.DNT MAKE URSELF AVAILABLE.Or else agenices will think u r here 2 make frndz and sexual meetings with girls in the name of frndships and u r nt serious and it might harm your career if they reject to work wid u as u never knw tht all agencies maintain a track record in the industry about all model's personal lifestyles.ONE ESCALATION AND UR CAREER WILL START 2 RUIN GRADUALLY. [ Vide the movie FASHION about the characters of SHONALI RATHOD & MEGHNA MATHUR ]

vii) ALWAYS be puctual in sending mails within time.
[ Or else it sounds very unprofessional,impuctal,not serious and casual ]

vii) If you could not so,then be APOLOGETIC to them and b TRANSPARENT but NEVER EVER GIVE THEM ANY LAME EXCUSES.
[ It sounds oppurtunist and melodramatic as THERE IS NO MARKET FOR UR SORROWS AND EXCUSES,SO NEVER ADVERTISE IT ]

Here a popular eg. : The famous Bollywood Dance Choreographer SAROJ KHAN turned up to the dance floor to teach her students and went to shooting eeven after hearing tht she lost her son that day itself and she said " SINCE I'M COMMITTED TO MY PROFESSION,SO I CAME TO COMPLETE MY WORK AND THEN I'LL BURRY MY SON"
So,u cn understand hw much strictly punctual and professional u hv 2 b to reach the zenith of ur career ? BECAUSE MANY MODELS FRM GRASIM AND GLADRAGS N OTHER AGENICES THRIVE HERE BUT ANYBODY REACHED TO THE LEVEL WHERE MILIND SOMAN REACHED ? NO.